Fuzzy Philosophy: Planting a Garden

Dear Cleo,

I’ve decided to start my own garden but have no idea where to begin. Could you give me some advice on how to plant a garden?

Confused but Hopeful

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Dear Confused but Hopeful,

Oh, planting a garden is like making a big salad in the ground! First, you’ll need some soil. That's the stuff under your feet that isn't floor or carpet. I once tried to plant on my living room floor, and let me tell you, the plants didn’t appreciate it.

Next, you need seeds. Seeds are like baby plants that haven’t grown up yet. I suggest singing lullabies to them; they grow up to be strong and happy that way. Don't forget to give them water – plants are like little green sponges. You don’t want to drown them, though! Just imagine you’re giving them tiny sips of tea.

Now, you have to find a good spot for your garden. It should be sunny but not too sunny, like a panda with a sunhat. If it’s too shady, you might grow mushrooms instead. I once planted carrots in the shade, and they turned into mushrooms. Very confusing.

Don’t forget to talk to your plants! They get lonely otherwise. I always tell my plants about my day. They never respond, but I’m sure they’re great listeners. Just don't expect them to give advice back – I learned that the hard way.

And finally, keep an eye out for pests. They’re like uninvited guests to a picnic. If you see a bug, politely ask it to leave. If it doesn't, you might need to call in reinforcements – like a ladybug squad.

So there you have it, Sarah! Happy gardening! And remember, a garden is just a salad waiting to happen.

Fuzzily yours,

Cleo

Are you looking for some advice? Email me your question at beastlybanterblog@gmail.com

Cleo is our lovable, confused advice columnist. In Fuzzy Philosophy with Cleo, which posts every Monday, she provides accidentally poignant advice, often misinterpreting situations in the most endearing ways. Cleo's columns are signed off with 'Fuzzily yours,' and she is also a dedicated mother to her son, Jia.